My baby is 10 months old and doesn’t sleep through the night. She wakes up about 2 to 3 times, if we are having a good night. Other nights you can see me getting out of bed 10 times or more. It’s tiring. I am exhausted and fun clearly looks different, but I try not to complain. However, when the conversation goes that way, I do talk about Amy’s sleepless nights and instantly wish I hadn’t bothered, because people keep telling me that “Amy should sleep through”, that “it’s not normal to wake this much at her age” and that I “have to get the book out and do controlled crying”.
Why controlled crying is not for us
Well, let me tell you what: It is completely normal not to sleep through the night, especially when you are a ten month old baby that has been teething non-stop for 5 months. So what will I do? One thing is sure: I won’t get any book out that asks me to let my baby cry – simply because I don’t agree with it. Babies cry for a reason and even if the reason is attention that is fine with me. I am sure in years to come, I will get plenty of sleep because I know that Amy is normal and can sleep through. She has done it before – in fact, she has made most of my mummy friends jealous when she slept through from the age of 3 weeks to 5 months and then she stopped, exactly the day that her first two teeth came through. It might be coincidence but it might be the reason for Amy waking up that much at night and I don’t want to distress her even more by giving her the feeling that her mummy won’t be there to comfort her.
Am I being selfish for comforting my baby?
By no means am I saying that mums who use the controlled crying method to get their children to sleep are neglecting their babies or aren’t there for them, but I personally feel that I am letting my baby down when I let Amy cry without trying to comfort her. I have heard from numerous mums who have tried controlled crying and who have been really successful with it, but I have also heard of mums who went through weeks of crying and no results at all. In fact, the process has upset mums and babies. Neither do I want this for me, nor do I want this for Amy. I rather cuddle her to sleep and show her that her mummy is there to help her sleep. I know getting up at night exhausts me, but I love feeling Amy’s warm little body all snuggled up against mine and seeing her beautiful face when she nods of – and in moments like this sleep is only secondary.
Did you use controlled crying? Was it a success or did it all go wrong? Are you against controlled crying? Why?