Having kids can be expensive. There are nappies, car seats, a pram and many more things to buy when you are expecting and raising a child, BUT there are also things that you don’t have to spend a single penny on, if you’ve got a two year old. Here are a few of them:

Gym membership

Absolutely overrated, expensive and unnecessary. Have you ever taken your two year old and their balance bike to the corner shop? I have and it left me sweatier than any spinning class. The 5 minute walk to the shop takes you half an hour, because your child wants to go a different way or says hello to every ladybird, bug and snail you’ll meet and once you are on your way back and loaded with shopping bags, child and bike don’t want to walk anymore. Believe me, carrying a 15kg child under one arm and shopping bags and balance bike under the other beats any gym workout.

Fancy clothes

Let’s face it, expensive clothing is a total waste of money once you’ve got a child to look after. It will take about 10 minutes until you are covered in snot, sick, milk or poo, sometimes even all of them at the same time, and if your child is anything like mine, your collar will be stretched and completely out of shape after only a couple of wears – Amy just loves to use it to climb up on me and I have quickly realised that it’s simple not worth crying over the death of an expensive top or pair of jeans.

Extreme sport adventures

You find your life boring and miss having an adrenaline kick every now and again? Abseiling or a sky dive would be nice? Don’t be silly, have you seen how much that costs? Just let your child run along the pavement in the posh part of town and feel the sweat break out when they scrape along the expensive cars lining the road. Your heart will beat quicker than ever before. Intermediates can also have a little sprint to try and reach the curb before their child hits the busy road. Wild water rafting won’t ever beat the adrenaline rush you’ll feel then.

Pilates and yoga sessions

Not that you’d have time for them anyway, but if you fancy a good old stretch, just take a close look at your child and follow their movements. You’ll soon find yourself with an extensive catalogue of exercises training not only your muscles, but also allowing you to show off crazy postures that will make even celebrity yoga instructors gasp for air.

Rhetoric seminars

You are worried about going back to work and think you’ve lost your sparkle? A rhetoric seminar will fix it? Put that credit card back in your purse or invest the money in some chocolate, because let’s face it: Convincing a toddler that broccoli is much better than pudding and brushing your teeth a necessity is a bigger challenge than presenting some sales numbers to the head of your department.

Did I miss anything? What have you stopped spending money on since having children? Do let me know in the comments below…